Journal

The six rules of using a men's washroom

November 29, 2011

Not particularly complicated, so it's surprising how many guys get these wrong.

If you're a father, it's your job to teach these rules to your son.

So, onto the list:

No eye contact
Even if it's your best friend, your long lost twin or Santa Claus, there is no need for eye contact at any time, whether it be entering, using or exiting the washroom. Never.

No phones
Actually, make that no conversation permitted, at all, texting included. Get in, get it done and get out. No lingering.

No sounds. No moaning, groaning, grunts, whistles, chuckles or sighs
No one wants to hear that stuff.

Look straight ahead
If you're in a washroom with two or more open urinals, not only should you leave a urinal between you and the other guy, but while conducting your business, simply stare at the wall the entire time. No looking around. No glances up or down. Straight ahead.

Wash your hands
It's amazing/nasty how many guys use the washroom but don't wash their hands afterwards. Who knows where their hands have been...no wait, you do. Exactly.

Do not wait inside
In our office building, there is a single shared men's washroom with one urinal and one toilet. In other words, one guy at a time.If you are walking to a similar-sized washroom and notice another dude in front of you, also on his way, turn the heck around and try again later. There may be two "units" (for lack of a better word) inside that washroom, but one man at a time. Wait outside the washroom if you must, but do not enter.That is all.